


A Death in the Family

by carinas_french_toast



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carinas_french_toast/pseuds/carinas_french_toast
Summary: Maya Bishop is lost. With the recent loss of her brother, she can't concentrate. She's starting to lose grip on reality. She has one rock, but is it safe to only be able to rely only on one?
Relationships: Andy Herrera/Robert Sullivan, Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca, Maya Bishop/Andy Herrera, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	1. Introduction/Prolouge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> intro

_When someone you love dies, your world starts to turn. Maybe you didn’t know you loved them, and now that they’re gone, you can’t tell them just how much you loved them._

_You can scream it into the universe, hoping the ghost of them remained long enough to hear your pleas, your begs, your screams for them to come back and tell you that they didn’t mean to leave. That they know you loved them. That they forgive you for all that you’ve done wrong._

_That’s not how it works though, from what I know. Sometimes, if I don’t sleep, I can almost see him. But when I do sleep, I can feel him._

_I can’t do either: I can’t sleep nor can I be awake._

_I’m trapped. In some haze, or trance._

_I feel nothing._

_No pain. No comfort. No sadness. No joy._

_Nothing._

_I hear voices. But by this point, I don’t know if they’re from my head or from reality._

_It’s been days. Or months. Or weeks._

_I’m not counting. I’m not about to._

_But it’s not always like this. Somedays I forgot what happened and I get out of bed. It’s rare._

_Though the second I remember, it’s like a tsunami comes crashing down on me and it’s impossible to tell what is up or down._

_I’m drowning, and I’m far too deep for anyone to save me._


	2. Numbness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some flashbacks in this chapter, and your first real update on Maya's mental health status... (i suck at writing summaries and i don't actually know how good of a writer I am so read at your own risk)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are gonna be really slow at first just btw.
> 
> italics mean either flashback, thoughts or a different pov or something, it should be fairly obvious
> 
> sorry if i got any medical stuff wrong, the only med school I've gone to is google so...

“Bella, please say something,” Carina pleaded, it had been three days since the funeral, and Maya hadn’t said a word since. She was too numb, barely having enough energy to get herself to the bathroom, let alone eating. The only food that had entered Maya’s system was the occasional piece of bread Carina coaxed into her. Somehow even with the large lack of energy Maya had, she couldn’t sleep, fearing that when she’d close her eyes she’d see her dead brother’s face, maybe even hear his voice.

All Carina wanted to do was get Maya to look her right in the eyes. She spent hours after hours staring into her girlfriend’s hollowed, bloodshot ones.

Maya knew she needed to do something, say anything but she always fell short. She could tell she had lost weight, and that underneath her eyes bags the size of dinosaurs sat. 

So much had happened that day, but the numbness started the second Maya found out. Police officers had come to her apartment, knocking on the door.

_ “Ma’am we have reason to believe that your brother is dead.” _

Maya nearly laughed at what she thought was a ridiculous accusation. The last time she had seen Mason he was doing art, he was clean. 

_ “We are going to need you or someone in close relation to Mason Bishop to come and possibly identify his body.” _

_ Maya’s body had turned cold by the fact that her brother could really be dead. By this point in the conversation, Carina had been by her side, worried that Maya might collapse any moment with how pale she had gone. _

_ “I-, I’m sorry what? _ ”

_ Carina was practically holding Maya up now.  _

_ “She means we’ll be there in around an hour, is that okay?” _

_ The second the cops had left, Maya’s legs gave out and Carina brought her over to the couch, worried Maya might actually lose consciousness. Her breaths were uneven and she didn’t know what to say. _

_ “He can’t actually be dead, right?” Maya had asked, _

_ “Maya-, Bella, you need to start preparing yourself,” _

_ “It’s probably not him, right?” _

_ “Maya-,” _

_ “Let’s just go check it, you know, to help who it really is,” _

Carina had been the one to tell Maya’s mother, who handled the funeral arrangements. The second Maya realized that it was really her brother that was the one laying in the morgue, she didn’t let a single tear fall until she was alone. When she and Carina got home, Maya locked herself in the bathroom. She heard Maya sobbing, kicking the walls.

_ “Maya,” Carina sat down, leaning herself against the door, “Bella, talk to me,”  _

_ The only response Carina got was Maya sitting down next to her.  _

_ “Maya,” Carina out her hand under the door, hoping Maya would take it, “hold my hand,”  _

_ It took a second, but Carina felt her girlfriend’s warm fingers clasp around her own.  _

_ “You’ll be okay Bellissima,” _

Maya opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She didn’t like seeing Carina so worried.

“It’s okay, you’re trying, I know,” she scooped Maya’s head into her lap, ever so gently stroking her greasy hair, “You should drink something, you’ll get a headache if you don’t,”

It was too late to avoid the headache; a sharp ache traveled swiftly up her spine, lodging itself deep into her temples. 

Maya winced as the pain began to pulsate, she dug her head into Carina’s stomach.

“Oh Bambina,” Carina reached over and grabbed a water bottle off of the side table, “Here, have a sip,” Maya tentatively put her mouth over the straw. She didn’t realize how thirsty she was until the entire bottle was empty,

“Good job,” Carina leaned down and pressed a kiss on Maya’s warm forehead. When the doorbell rang she got up, a bit hesitant to leave her girlfriend alone. 

“Hello?” Carina opened the door, 

“Hi!” Andy stood in front of her, “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” The two of them walked over to the kitchen, 

“You said she wasn’t sleeping,” Andy muttered, 

“Cosa?”

“I brought something for her,” Andy pulled it out and handed it to Carina, “When my dad died I couldn’t sleep. So I asked Warren if I could bring Maya some of what he gave me and he got her some. It works, that’s for sure,”    
“Diazepam? Valium?”

“I mean there are a lot of side effects. Like I got the craziest dreams-”

“I know. I’m a doctor,” Carina cut Andy off, instantly feeling bad, as she had just been trying to help her best friend, “I’m sorry. I haven’t gotten a ton of sleep in the past two weeks. More than Maya at least,” 

“No it’s okay, don’t be sorry. I can stay if you want to get some sleep,” 

“I hate seeing her like this,”

“She wasn’t this bad last week. I mean she knew, but…” Andy stopped, deep in thought,

“The funeral messed her up. Both of her parents were there and-,”

“Oh,” Andy looked through the open door of Maya’s room, 

“If the offer still stands, could you stay? I want to stay as clear-headed for her as possible,” Carina rubbed her eyes,

“Of course,”

Carina grabbed a single pill and hid it on the shelves, not wanting Maya to be able to find it if she ever got out of bed. She went in, finding her gently sucking on her thumb, staring off at something in her imagination. Carina worried about the dark circles under the blonde's eyes, they looked bruised, purple even. 

Slowly, she knelt in Maya’s eye line, forcing them to lock eyes.

“You need to sleep. I know you haven’t in nearly five days straight. And Bellisima, that’s too long. You’ll start to see things that aren’t there.” Maya looked down, “Andy brought this over,” Carina opened her hand, showing a small white pill, “I need you to take it. Only one, okay? You’ll probably have some really weird dreams, you might not feel well when you wake up, but you need to sleep,” 

Maya hesitated for a minute, before trying to push herself up. But for lying in bed for nearly 72 consecutive hours, she was a little weak. Her arms shook slightly when she held herself up. Carina noticed so she helped Maya lean against some pillows. 

She closed her eyes, feeling a headrush, waiting a minute before opening her eyes and taking the pill from the brunette. 

“Here’s some water to wash it down,” she handed it to Maya who had put the pill in her mouth. When she finished she slid back down into the blankets, willing herself to succumb to the darkness and the ache in her head to stop pulsating with the beat of her heart. 

Carina got into bed with her, putting her hand under Maya’s shirt, slowly rubbing her back. 

It felt good, some sense of relief for Maya. She started to feel like she was underwater and her thoughts stopped spinning. 

“When you wake up either Andy or I will be here, alright Bella?” Carina sighed when she realized Maya was already asleep, her breathing wasn’t even, or very slow; but she had snuggled up against Carina, something she always did when she slept. It was clear that Maya was in pain, the insomnia, the inability to speak, she was traumatized. And Carina would’ve been too, if she hadn’t seen her brother for two years, and the last time she did see him he was living on the street. 

“Carina?” Andy knocked on the door, “I can sit with her if you want to go sleep in the guest room or something,”

“I-,” She looked down at Maya in front of her.  _ Carina, Maya needs you. You have to be here for her. But you can’t be here for her if you can’t think straight.  _ She thought deeply and reminded herself that she had to be mindful of her own well being, not just the person she loved most in this world. “Okay, just lay close to her she likes it,”

Andy nodded and smiled as Carina pressed a kiss into Maya’s hairline, immediately noticing her loosening her muscles.  _ Just a bit.  _

“Sleep tight, don’t let the bed flies bite,”

“Do you mean bed _bugs_?” Andy smiled,

“I really am tired,” the two of them traded places, Andy snuggling close to her best friend and Carina watching at the door.

“Get some sleep, I’m here for her,” 

“Of course. Thank you, really. Andy, I don’t know what we’d do without you,”

“I miss her. I know it hasn’t been long, but still,”

“Me too. I miss her too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add carina speaking Italian but i don't speak it, nor do i trust google translate.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how good the summery is, but this is my first ao3 fic and I love angst, so beware.


End file.
